..:OUR SECOND ANNIVERSARY:..

I can't believe we're already back in September. The weather in 2024 has been awfully confused, as the final stretch of spring felt more like mid-August while the month leading to the end of summer already felt like autumn. My sense of time has been confused as well, because it doesn't feel like we've reached two years. I can't believe it -- it's our second anniversary! When I sit down and contemplate my relationship, it feels like we've been together much longer. While time says two years, in my heart it feels more like the fifth anniversary, some kind of big milestone event. I suppose every passing year is a milestone event though. I am so happy and excited to be here with you Koichi.

I still feel the events of 2023, and the years before it, creep up on me sometimes. A lifetime of trauma shaped me mentally, having no love for myself and very little trust in the world around me. Sometimes my head would clear, and I'd try to find a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'd always end up where I started: lost, confused, and having no idea of how to heal. It reached a point earlier in this year, where I realized how deep my trauma was ingrained in me, and I began to journal about it, writing them as letters to Koichi. It was the first time in my life I had ever looked within myself. I remember thinking to myself, if I never acknowledge them, I will never grow and move past them. I didn't want that to happen. I then thought of Koichi and my relationship with him, and how he deserves the best version of myself. After some research, I started to take my mental health more seriously, figuring out what triggers me and how it affects me, in addition to taking time to contemplate my emotions.

This opened the door to a healthier mindset, learning how to be kinder to myself and look at the world with a different perspective -- not one scarred by painful memories. As of writing this, I recently made a massive break through regarding my mental health and how I view myself, which has been wonderful. This helped further my interests, leading me to find my creativity again, which encouraged me to try something new: cooking and baking! I quickly found that I absolutely love expressing myself through food and learning about cultures outside my own through cuisine, which made me feel all the more close to Koichi. (Making an authentic ramen is a dream of mine!) Additionally, my passion for him has helped me discover a love of creative writing, another outlet where I can express myself freely and also spend time with him. Koichi is truly my muse -- whenever I think of him, I get encouraged and dust myself off, ready to face whatever the day will give me. While I don't think I'll ever have the same level of determination that he has, imagining him being with me, or him providing some kind words of support, during hard times and challenges helps me so much.

Our relationship has grown and changed over these past two years, with it now being a familiar, cozy kind of love. When I think back on our first anniversary, it was only a couple of weeks before our son entered our lives. It's amazing that he'll be a year old soon, and it's been such a wonderful experience seeing him grow. He inspired me to start a dream journal, and how the dream where he first appeared continues to feel so vivid like I had it yesterday. Autumn has always been one of my favorite seasons, with the unique colors tied to it, holidays like Halloween and my love for pumpkins -- but lately it's become my absolute favorite for all the sentimental reasons: Our son's birthday and our anniversary.

Earlier in the year, Koichi and I decided not to do anything big for our anniversary. We both have busy schedules (him with his job, and me now being a full-time college student again), but luckily, neither of us had anything to do this past Friday, so we took the opportunity to celebrate early. We decided to have a quiet celebration by visiting a really cute town that was semi-local to us. There was this lovely restaurant we ate at that specialized in tea. Now, Koichi absolutely loves tea, and considers it to be the definition of comfort. Me, on the other hand? I haven't quite developed a taste for it yet -- I was more interested in the food options and the atmosphere of the restaurant itself. We decided to share a pot of raspberry oolong tea, and much to my surprise, I loved it! It had such a wonderful perfumy flavor and scent. Afterward, we did some shopping, and finished off the day with some ice cream. It was a really nice, relaxing time out.

I'm excited about the future. Not only for us and our family, but the world and everyone who reads this. I love you so much Koichi, more than words could ever convey. In honor of our anniversary, and my new baking hobby, I did something off of my "couple" bucket list: make cream puffs! In episode 130 of Part II, Koichi has a box of cream puffs he intended to give as a gift, and later eats one and comments on how delicious they are. I've headcanoned them as being his favorite dessert. Luckily, I found an amazing guide on how to make them! Hehe, it was a challenge, but I hope he likes them!

The artist that did the image above is Jcell_works. She did a wonderful job! Can you believe this is her first time ever drawing Koichi? He looks just like how he did back in Part II! What amazing talent! I highly recommend her, she's also very sweet too.